IT STILL HAUNTS ME....

2006 was the most unforgettable year for me. Not only having sweet memories with my peers but also facing the fear for months if being left alone. Traumatized with the queer moment, I started being pious and having my goddess picture to any places I go to this day. This is to curb my feelings of fear towards supernatural things that which might exist after experiencing a horrible one. It was tormenting experience as I could relate my life to all sorts of negative vibes around me at that moment. I am surely not a person who likes to whinge about this matter to anyone even to my parents as I know we are brought up in an environment where supernatural or entities do not exist. (sigh).I know if I tell them, they will mock me and things would get worst. It stirred a pandemonium in my life for quite some time, To think about the incident, it  still gives me goosebumps whenever I recall it

I pursued my diploma in one of the teacher's training college after completing my degree in UKM. The first day I stepped my feet to Institut Perguruan Raja Melewar, I had a bad feeling about the place where I am going to spent my one year training there. I was very upset and wasn't feeling any excitement as I did not like the place at all. I brushed off my feelings and encouraged myself that this will only be a year and time will fly fast. Later, we were brought to our hostel and to my surprise it turned out to be extremely spooky that I imagined even from the outside of the building itself. The building was so old and worn out paint here and there.It was an ugly sight.  Even though it's clean, but I just felt I'm out of the place. After unpacking my things and saying goodbye to my family with a heavy heart,I took a closer look at my room. The room had two beds and two wooden tables which looked very much like an environment during the 60's( sigh). I am a person who loves to sit beside the windows as I love watching scenery and greenery. I was  so excited to see the windows. As I was opening them, I was startled to see that I was actually not looking at any beautiful sight but only tombs.. I just realized it was a cemetery. My body trembled to see that old tombs on the land and I remembered running to see the warden to beg on changing to other rooms. Unfortunately, the warden kindly told me that the rooms were fully occupied and I had to wait for 6 months if I need to move to other rooms. I gave up and try to adapt the situation.

Few months went along, nothing much happened and I was glad that nothing occured. I had a roommate who was my classmate as well. Throughout the 4 months , I dare not to open the windows at all.Basically, I was living in darkness and lack of fresh air.But  it did not bother me  and My room mate at all as I feel secured if the windows were closed most of the time. My roommate was sailing the same boat like me. She was as coward as I am so she agreed on the idea of closing the windows all the time even though our room was feeling stuffy at times.

Until one day, the most terrifying and intricated moment took place in May, 2006. It was our sports day and we were really feeling exhausted as we participated in the marathon. I staggered at the field itself because of the burning heat. After the completion of the marathon, we headed back to our room. My room mate went back home as it was the weekend. During the weekends, I will return to my brother's place in Puchong as I do not have the guts to stay alone in that room. Unfortunately, I could not go back that particular weekend as my brother was away to the States for a week. So I had to stay back and it was a stomach wrenching moment for me as it was my first time staying alone in that room. Most of the students headed back home but I stayed off. I was too exhausted and fell asleep. Suddenly, I was awakened by someone who called my full name. Maybe it is meant nothing but this is shocking as none of my friends calls me by my full name. They always refer me as "vila" and this woman's voice calling me with my full name." Viiiiillaaashhhhiiiiinniiiii......"" It was so soft but it was  very clear. I was taken back by the voice as I could not recognize the voice and dare not to open the door. But it repeated. I asked" Who is that?". It was a pin drop silence. I opened the door slowly and to my astonishment, no one was there. Making the matter even worst, the whole block was empty as everyone has returned to their hometown.

My body was trembling and sweat started to cover my body. I quickly grabbed my pillow and ran towards to my other coursemate's room. I knocked the door as if someone was chasing me. It was sharp 12.20 midnight. My friend was as shock as I was when she saw my face turned pale. She asked me what had happened and I told her my experience. She started to recite prayers as she was a pious Muslim and we prayed in our own ways. That night, she prepared a small matress for me to sleep. I was so grateful to her as I feel safe by her arms. I laid myself and went to sleep and I covered myself with a blanket because I felt blanket could cover me and I feel secured.

I was sleeping soundly, I was awakened with a voice grunting. First, I thought it was a wild animal outside the room but when I opened my eyes, I just cant believe what I saw. I saw a trot standing over the door trying to pull my blanket away. I was speechless. I felt my heart stopped for a moment. Numbness took over my whole body. It was grunting heavily and the sound became louder and louder. I could only shout but it was unheard. I was crying as I could not do anything but to watch that hideous look of that figure. I shouted out from the lungs but nothing came out from my mouth. I was freezed for a moment. As I turned I could only see my friend sleeping soundly. That moment, I remembered to recite a mantra that my mother taught me when I was little. As I was reciting it, the horrific figure was screeching and the voice was unbearable. It was as if pleading me to stop reciting the mantra. I ignored the sound and kept on reciting it. Suddenly, a pungent smell covered the whole room. The smell was unbearable, a carcass smell I should say. In a split second the trot disappeared. I felt my body was light and quickly woke my friend. She was stunned to see me as I looked pale and terrified. She asked me what happened and I told her from the beginning. Surprisingly, she did not give any reaction and sighed away.I was puzzled to see her reacting that way and didnt elaborate more and both of us went to sleep after a tiresome night.

The next morning , I woke up and was curious to ask her why she had reacted that way. She later confronted that this was happening every single night from the day she stayed in the room. I was shocked. No wonder she was keeping her Quran when she sleeps and all the religious books around her. She also added that this has been haunting her for  a long time and nothing could be done to stop it and she cant shift to other room as all the rooms were ocuupied. I was in self denial. I just couldnt believe how tormenting it would be to have that entity to haunt you all nights.It was intimidating to find my friend going through this fearful moment almost all nights and she was cool about it. After that, I did not face anymore incidents like that.

                                  


THE HOSTEL THAT I STAYED ( BELOW, SECOND FROM LEFT)



After the incident, I kept reminding myself to be more pious and started to be more religious. I still have not told this to anyone as I believe that there are people out there who just can't believe in all these supernatural things happening including my parents. This is my first time revealing this as I want to let know others that supernatural things do happen. Many people would demean this, but I strongly believe that spirits roam around if their soul is not freed. Until today, my friend and I would talk about it each time we meet and recalled how freaky was those moment that we went through. It was a mystery for us because until today we dont know what, who and why, it was there. I do not wish to know too(sigh)...   

A DAY OUT.....

Hi everyone...Hoping all of you are doing well.. As for me, I am having my first term school break which means "heaven" for us as we were longing to have this break after a tiresome school workloads.. No more marking, shouting, screaming, stomping and stuffs like that for one week.. I am so desperate and looking forward for this holiday.. Even though classes in UPM are as usual, I managed to squeeze my little time out going for a vacation with my family. Where???? The nearest destination I can afford to at this moment, PORT DICKSON..I booked a room equipped with a swimming pool in it as I know many will hit the swimming pool with their children during the holidays. Even though it's just one night, it meant a lot as I have not gone for any vacation for a long period of time. I felt myself being a kid and I had sleepless night before the take off.

After having an early breakfast, My husband and I together with my 3 year old son, drove to Port Dickson. It took us 2 hours to reach there as there was a quite heavy jam in Seremban toll. During the journey, I saw three accidents taking place in Seremban highway itself. It was bad involving a bus, a car and a motorcyclist. It was a kiosk so this delayed our journey to the place. Finally, we reached there before our check in time.

at the lobby

 It was already 2 and all of us were starving. We managed to get a quick lunch in the nearby restaurant. At 3, we checked in to our room. The room was enormously huge with a swimming pool built in and the room was surrounded with plants.. Its a garden concept. It was really beautiful.

in our hotel room

garden view

 I just laid myself on the spongy bed, thinking to myself, how wonderful it could be if I could own one of this(sigh).Without delaying our time, my son and I jumped into the pool as the water was crystal clear.We spent our whole day soaking ourselves in the pool. I love swimming and so does my son.

in our private pool

 We enjoyed the most. My husband was  busy looking around the place and getting some pictures of us splashing water at each other. It was such a relief getting into the pool.  I feel relaxed and soothing with the environment where no one was around us and the pool is just for us... As both of us( me and my husband) juggling our time with work and studies, both of us rarely have vacation and the last one was last year.(sigh).After dipping ourselves in the pool for a long time., our stomachs started to grumble and growl.

having wonderful time in the water

We got ready and went for the nearest seafood restaurant and to my surprise the price for the food was so cheap compared to food in Klang. We had our dinner and went for a family karaoke later that night, We sang to the top of our lungs and had a great time. We slept quite early  as we were tired due to the tiring journey and the swim.

I'm tired to pose....

The next morning, I got up early. The most wonderful part of a vacation will be the breakfast provided by the hotel. I just love the hotel breakfast. Its rare to have those kind of breakfast in normal restaurants. After refilling our stomachs, we were back to the pool again. Its just so fun swimming in your own pool without having anyone watching your flabby parts( sigh). After 3 hours of swimming, we packed and went back home at 12.

before heading home, a quick picture..

. It was the most enjoyable holiday for me even though a short one.. I guess all of you should grab a chance checking in yourself to this hotel located in Port Dickson. It is The Grand Lexis, Port Dickson, 5 kms from the town..What a day!!!!! wished it was longer..(sigh)

MEMORY THAT STAYS..

Hello and good day everyone.. Well this week will be the most interesting theme as I am going to reveal one of my most sweetest, greatest, unforgettable memory I had recount through my 34 years of living in this spectacular world. Our life is unique and special when one could experience the moment of giving birth. It is a moment where women will never forget for the rest of their lives. As for me. the most wonderful memory would be giving birth to my son, Sai Visharath Dev who is already 3 now. Wow, time flies!!!I can reassure that this experience is extremely unique and that special moment made me having closer bond to my mum as I felt the pain she has gone through when delivering us into this world.

getting ready for C section

Here is what had happened. My son was supposed to be entering this world on the 24th Of January 2012 but due to some circumstances, the doctor in JMC specialist Centre  felt that it was too early. I checked in the hospital on the 29th of January 2012 but unfortunately I did not experience any contraction at all and the doctors felt it was weird.My stomach was extremely huge and I was tired being pregnant as I was dealing with weight problems. I have gone through the uncomfortable swelling on my both legs due to weight. I  can say that my whole body was bloated and it was really devastating to look at myself in the mirror.(Sigh), 

going to the labour room

On the 30th of January, I had that icky crampy feeling and it was not easy to have a good sleep as the stomach has been big.I could recalled my days sleeping in a sitting position as I find it suffocating when i lay myself on the bed. IT was   tough during pregnancy but I enjoyed it especially feeling and seeing the movements of the stomach when my baby gets hungry.

In the hospital, they hooked me up with a belly monitor to see the continuous reading of my son's heartbeat. It was pounding really hard.When the doctor came, he checked to see if I was ready for the birth as he said the contractions had started and I had only 2 cm dilated. So, the doctor urged us to wait after two hours after giving me some shots for me to dilate as soon as possible. After 8 hours of waiting , the doctor came and checked me and it stayed 2 cm. Even though I was induced, it had not dilated. He was worried for the baby as there are chances for the baby to drown himself. I panicked but somehow a sweet nurse calmed me down and asked me to get ready for a C-section.

my son..

 Praying is the only thing I can do. The nurse gave me a robe and sent me to the labour room. The room smelled all kinds of medicine. I hated it. I was greeted by a lady doctor and she directed me to lie down on a small bed. She asked me to count numbers. I remembered stopping at the count of three as I had passed out after that. After 20 minutes later, my son was brought to the world at 4.58 p,m. I woke up after 2 hours and I felt really dizzy due to the medicine. Holding him for the first time was remarkable. I held him and he was heavy. Then I was told later by the doctor that he weighed 4.4 kg..I was overwhelmed and it was the most wonderful memory having the feeling of being the mother for the first time, The feeling  was indescribable. I cried in joy when he cried on my arms. It was so cute to see his pinkish face.

heading home after a week in the hospital

I'm not going to lie, the process of recovering from the surgery was painful,Too many do's and don'ts.
I could say that it was a blissful memory and I thank God for giving me one.

VILASUGAR"S DREAM HOLIDAY

Everyone has their own dream holiday..Its impossible for one not to have a dream holiday at all. We are not zombies.. and everyone needs a break. As Vilasugar, the dream land that I have always wanted to step my feet is none other than the land which is rich with its history and architechture.. GREECE.. Words cant describe the place.. It is the most beautiful, exoctic, magnificient, wonderful, amazing, breathtaking place that most of us dream of spending their lives.The place is surrounded with beautiful and crystal clear beaches and ancient buildings around making the Greece one of the top ten places that most people wanted to go. A country of amazing beauty, Greece is one of the most popular places in the world for people to squeeze their hectic life and fly from any parts of

the world to be here.

beautiful scenery of the Santorini island at night..

As for me, Greece has been my dream destinastion since I was ten years old. I was amazed of this place when I watched a documentary covering this country. The view of this place was so beautiful and breathtaking and it did impresse me since I was a kid.I guess this is the only country which is not polluted with filthy and suffocating contaminated air.The people there preserved their land from being contaminated and it is proven that Greece is also a country with a population people experiencing zero health hazard. I have set my mind to visit this place one day when I have enough savings.It is costly but I will make it a point to go there especially to one of the most beautiful island Santorini island. It is also known as the best island in Greece and the most romantic destinations in the world. There is a steep caldera and visitors can set their eyes on the beautiful sunset from the place which everyone dying to see that spectacular view.I am a person who loves to set my eyes on watching sunset. It is just spectacular to watch the sunset view especially from this island.

the beautiful view from the white sugarhouse

Besides , Greece is also famous for its beaches and lovely nature. I am charmed with its blue green water which I am really eager to dive in.The architecture of the buildings built in Greece is so wonderful and not forgetting the vivid villages around which is famous for its white sugar house. For me, Greece is one of the destinations  that suits all ages and tastes.The place is simply gorgeous I should say even by looking at them in pictures.I have heard from my uncles who have been there, that once you step in Greece , you don't feel like coming back. I saw the pictures that they took and they really mesmerised me and I'm longing to go and explore there myself along with my husband and my son to this trip as well.The place is just mind blowing.It is an idyllic destination for everyone who needs a break.

beautiful scenary of its beach

Eventhough, I have not been there, the picturesque view just could not  be erased from my mind.Greece has always been in my bucket list since small.Greece is just one stunning place to visit and it is always a popular tourist attraction for its great natural beauty..So Mommy just cant wait to pack her bag and fly there..I hope my wish will be fulfilled and my hoping this dream becomes a reality.. Just can't wait.....Thought of the day; Dare to live the life you have dreamed for yourself. Go forward amd make dreams come true...quote by Emerson.Signing off now...

Mesmerizing view...

VILASUGAR'S FERRIS WHEEL..

Hello and goodday everyone.. This is my very first time experiencing on writing a blog and I'm super excited as I've always wanted to have a blog of my own but never had the initiative to do so. Eventhough it is a part of my course requirement to do this, I am going to be using this blog as part of my social communication with others for the entire of my life. I had procastinate on this for a very long time and now finally I'm out of the world of "computer illiteracy". Once again, people, everything is about effort and how you take things serious when you are really into doing something "Thought of the day by Vilasugar".

It was early morning and all the doctors were away for breakfast. 21st November 1981 marked an important date in my parents' lives.My mother was admitted in the hospital for the labour pain and it took two days for her to get me out from her belly but I was adamant to stay in my "comfort zone". While the doctors were away, and no one was around, my mum had a great sneeze and there, my head popped out saying hello to everyone but the nurses around were freaked out and trying to calm things down. With some great push from my courageous mother, I'm finally out. My entry to this world was a big unpredictable moment and that is why people around me used to relate my character as an unpredictable one too until today. (Sigh...)

          thanks to my parents.. I am here to day and I am someone today..

Born as the only girl and the youngest of three siblings, my father named me as Vilashini, a name adapted by a famous pseudonym in a Tamil magazine that my father used to read in the 80's era. I must admit that I love my name as it brings the meaning of joy in Tamil and I admit I am one. I recalled those days when I used to thank my father for giving me this name as my classmates used to tag along weird names with them.

                        7 months old Vilasugar

As I grew older, I endured bad times frequently where I was bullied by my friends for having this name. My name was translated into sugarvila as "shini" brings the meaning of "sugar" in Tamil. But frankly, it didn't bother me at all. I loved it as well and I thank god as it meant sugar and nothing else( hope you all know what I meant).

Life was good and I could cope up in studies very well.I was an above average student. I love reading from  the day I could put letters into words. I was fond of reading English storybooks. Enid Blyton was one of my favourite authors when I was a kid.I always  dream of becoming an author myself but ended up teaching which is my passion too.I always wanted to follow my father's footsteps. My father was an English teacher in a primary school and he was also incharged of the library of the school that he taught. I could recalled the sweet memories when my father used to bring brand new books of Enid Blyton back home for me to read. He had to remind that these books were only meant to be borrowed so I had to squeeze some of my time to read. I grew to love English at a very young age. Eventhough, I love English, unfortunately, I did not converse the language with my family or friends, Surprisingly, rather than conversing in my mother tongue, I used to converse in Bahasa Malaysia even to my family members.I tend to be fluent in this language and people especially relatives had their negative perceptions on me saying that I was not good in English. They mocked me throughtout my teenage life but at first it was really devastating when they mocked me in front of others but i grew to ignore them. Adding to that, I stuttered during my teenage life. I had experienced stuttering when I read or communicate with people. But this did not shy me away. So, stuttering and not communicating in English were big problems during my burgeoning life. However, I endured really bad comments from peers and relatives. I remember crying myself to sleep asking God why I have to go through this as I could not take any more slurs by my friends and relative when I stuttered.Stuttering became really bad at the age of 16. I did not see any speech therapy as I was shy to consult them. But it did not stop me from talking as I love to talk.Teasing and mocking when I stutter was normal for me then.I am not a person who stand up and fight for myself.I would describe myself as a coward person then due to all these circumstances. But one fine day, one of my teachers advised me that we were born for a reason. Despite all these problems, my teacher said there is a solution for everything. My teacher, Miss. Nona advised me on getting into the habit of reading in front of a mirror which will really helped alleviate the stuttering problem. I was overwhelmed and practiced as what she had told.